After I write this post I think I have to have a 24 hour hiatus from the internet. I cannot watch Breaking Bad's finale until tomorrow night and I'm terrified of it getting spoiled. There is always that jerk on facebook who writes something that completely gives it away. I am sort of relieved that this show is coming to an end because no other show has stressed me out like this one. I'm not sure how I would like to see it resolved, I just hope it's done well.
In lighter news, my rabbit has taken to hanging out on this table. She's so cute I can't even deal with it.
I finally got my studio mostly clean. It's at least functional now. I have been wanting to work on some mixed media painting/ drawings and I finally got time to sit down and do it. My work used to always be very angsty. People saw the bright colors and the little doodled hearts and they immediately pointed out how happy my work was but if you really studied the imagery you could see how sad it truly was. I created landscapes that were inhabited by strange creatures that were usually crying and seemed very isolated. I made cemeteries for friends who had passed away way too young. It was all very heavy so I used bright colors to make it not so heavy-handed.
Here is an example. Click the image to see it larger. I made this while I was in grad school. See the ghost on the right? He is the saddest. But those mountains are pretty lonely and sad, too. Kind of weird, I know...
So now when I think about the work I want to make it's weird to be in a completely different state of mind. As previously noted, I feel pretty happy. I feel lighter, less anxious. How is that going to effect my artmaking? There's the cliche of the tortured artist. I do not feel super tortured. Knock on wood... If I am tortured about anything it's about how to make art. It feels like it's been so long since I made work that I don't know how to do it anymore. I sat at my desk and filled up tons of paper with these little washes but I don't know where to go from here. Sometimes when I'm still figuring out content it's hard for me to make serious marks.
Yesterday my husband showed me a park I had never been to before and it was so beautiful and peaceful. It made me think about how many wonderful moments there are in life. I tend to dwell on the bad stuff but why don't I dwell on the beautiful park I visited? So I'd like to make work that is a place for all the good to go. I am so in love with many beautiful things and I would love for my art to be shrines to all that beauty. I am still unsure how to do that but getting these thoughts together and getting something onto paper seems to be a step in the right direction. Tomorrow some girlfriends and I are going to go explore Chicago and try to find as many beautiful things as we can. I hope to come home with a few little treasures that will inspire this new series of work.
I'll end this with my bunny still being so cute. I can't stand it! I wish I could carry her around all day in a bag. I wish she could talk so I could know if she actually likes me.
I hope you have sweet bunny dreams!