Ugh. I thought I would be more rollercoastery/trainwrecky during my actual thesis semester but it seems that it's the aftermath where I am at my worst. I've been out of school for a week and I'm already fighting feelings of failure. I'm scared, stressed, nervous and worried. But! I did watch this movie last night that gave me a nice boost. Whip It has been out for a while and I'm so glad I finally watched it. It was a fun girl movie that feels so encouraging, cheesy as that may sound. It sort of made me realize that I still haven't quite figured out who I am yet. Like I talk about in my thesis show, part of me wants to still be 16 years old while part of me wants to be a grown-up doing grown-up things. The only problem is I don't think I know exactly what grown-up things means. I have a certain idea of what it means and I think it just doesn't fit who I am. I think I'm going through growing pains. I wish I could just take some tylenol but I have a feeling it's not that easy.
Anyway, sorry to keep sprinkling this blog with gloominess. I'll balance it out later with something fun.
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2 comments:
I hate to say it again, but I just recognize so much of what your saying. I am 'alsmost ready/working on my thesis' for almost a year now, and (a big) part of it is the fear of failure :( at the same time I'm bursting of energy and plans. Lots of hights and lows). Maybe I should go watch more cheesy girl movies too ;)
Hope you feel better soon! Maybe getting into a new apt. will help. Or maybe some "fontstaches" will help: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Qd348ORAzb8/St42C969naI/AAAAAAAAA_8/Paff8WmJph4/s1600/fontstaches.jpg
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