TGIF

This has been a weird week. My first week off work did not turn out the way I expected it to.  Disappointing elections, reminders of bills and daily responsibilities, not getting nearly as much done as I hoped.... but the worst thing this week was that my sweet rabbit Rue passed away.  It all happened so quickly and I am still completely stunned.  Wednesday night she was breathing heavily.  I worried that she had a cold and planned on getting her to the vet the next day.  When we woke up Thursday morning we discovered she did not make it through the night.  I could not believe it would happen that fast and I felt so guilty for not being with her in the end.  There is such a void in the house now. I usually chat with her throughout the day and now I catch myself starting to say something to her only to look over and remember she isn't there.  

Here she is when we first brought her home and we still had our other rabbit Luxie. It took the two about a week to get used to each other and then they were best friends.  Lux was in love with Rue and constantly groomed her and kept her close.  For the first six months that we had Rue we joked that she was not our pet, she was Lux's.  After Lux passed away we finally got to make Rue ours.  We got rid of her cage and made her a home in the living room where she could run around and explore. I hope she felt like her life was good.

They were not outdoor bunnies, the just got plenty of outdoor time.

She loved to be pet.  We would sit with her on the couch and she would let us pet her for forever.  When she had to go to the bathroom she would get restless so we knew it was time to put her down. She would run straight to her litter box and take care of business like a lady.

I loved watching her eat treats.  She always got a little mustache the color of her food.  I'm slowly getting used to her not being here but I wish I could have one more chance to sit and pet her.  The same day we lost Rue my Grandmother lost her sweet cat Clover.  Clover was a neighborhood cat who would leave Grandmother little "treats" at her door as a thank you for feeding her and providing her with warm shelter in her basement.  I told my Grandmother that Clover, Rue and Luxie are all together having a blast together.  I'm sure pet heaven is a very fun place to be.

The week wasn't all bad.  I met with a dear friend and started the journey of learning about Nichiren Buddhism.  The practice is so beautiful and I really think it has helped me get through these rougher parts.  I also had a wonderful visit with my doctor this morning and learned that Maybe and I are in good health. He did an ultrasound and she kept her hand over her face the whole time! It would have been frustrating if it wasn't so cute. Maybe she will be really into peek-a-boo.

I am trying to spend my time wisely the rest of this afternoon.  Working in Maybe's room is so overwhelming but I at least have one little section that looks promising.

But then I turn around....  I have hopefully 5 more weeks until she arrives...  I'm not sure if that's enough time to clean up this mess. Help.

I hope you have a great weekend. If you also had a rough week now is the time for things to turn around!

Budget Woes

Go vote today! J and I went early this morning and it felt good.  I wish he didn't have to go to work so soon because it would have been nice to have a post-voting celebratory breakfast. Instead I had a pre-voting celebratory bowl of cheerios. Whether your day includes fancy breakfast or not please go vote.

Yesterday started out well even though I was a bit overwhelmed by the state of our house (I promise it's just unorganized and not yucky).  I couldn't figure out which room to tackle first so I wondered around doing a little bit in each room.  Then the mail came and all productivity came to a halt. Our electricity bill shot up super high and claimed we used 245% more electricity than last October.  I was freaked out and felt doomed.  I sat at the kitchen table and cried because just when I thought we were doing ok and I could take some time to stay home with baby something like this comes along and makes me feel insecure.  After enough time of feeling sorry for myself I finally went outside and checked our meter and realized the numbers were completely off, the reading had been recorded inaccurately.  I called and reported and let out a sigh of relief.  One more bullet dodged.  On the night of my last day of work we thought our furnace broke.  I couldn't breathe while I waited for my husband to figure out what happened.  Again, it got figured out and we feel confident we at least have another winter with it but what happens when it does finally quit?  Eventually we will not be able to avoid something like that happening and that's when I become overcome with worry.  I pinch pennies every chance I can in order to prepare for these possibilities but will there every be a point where I can worry a little less and live a little more?  I have trouble figuring out where to draw the line between being prepared and being terrified of not being prepared enough.  If we had a celebratory fancy breakfast today it would have been served with a side of guilt.

I grew up always wanting things. I wanted clothes and shoes and purses and stuff.  So much stuff.  It's hard breaking from that. I was at a shoe store recently and wanted a pair of shoes so bad.  I even got a coupon in the mail for that shoe store and held on to it for a bit thinking I would finally buy a pair but then life happens and I get a scary electric bill that reminds me of our reality.  It forces me to let go of feeling like I need so many things but it is still an adjustment. I know that my problems are so minuscule when compared to so many problems in the world but these are the little things I'm working on overcoming.

Today I am tightening our grocery budget again so that we may start prioritizing what is important in our life.  I think taking control in some areas will help us have a little fun in other areas.

Do you guys have any money-saving tips?  Do you also struggle with finding a proper balance with spending and saving?  I'm all ears!

Indefinite Maternity Leave

I have been on a blogging hiatus because I have been storing all my thoughts internally.  Every time I think I should write something down I'm not sure what to say.  My mind is in overload and I suppose a lot of it could be hormones that are whipping me every which way.

Today starts my officially official first day of my indefinite maternity leave. I know I have been unemployed before with question marks hanging over the future but this time feels so much for bizarre because it feels very permanent.  With a baby coming soon, that is a job that I don't really know how to train for.  I'm excited and nervous and scared and overwhelmed and feel completely unprepared for this big adventure.  It seems all I can really do is clean my house and finally learn how to organize.  Does that gene kick in when you have a baby? I hope for her sake it does.  I am a pretty terrible housekeeper and my hormones have made eating a chore so I'm not even good at grocery shopping and making dinners these days.  I hope to document this journey here while also keeping up with my online shop, making dolls every chance that I can and exploring new ways of artmaking.  I will admit that I am terrified that I will lose that part of myself.  All I know how to do is sit in my studio and make stuff.  For the past month I have not been anywhere near my studio.  I know it's going to be up to me to make that extra effort to find the time to keep up with my own interests.  It's my own fault if I don't.

Lets talk fun stuff.  I have had several showers in the past month.  My sweet friends had a shower for me and they pulled out all the stops. Courtney, Robyn, Bryanne and Janey hosted and it was mostly book club friends and co-workers and my sister and Mom who drove up from Kentucky.  There was also a very special guest from Slovakia who was visiting her daughter on her first trip to America. It was a real honor to have her there celebrating with me.  Here are some highlights of the beautiful day.

Photos taken by Robyn.  To see her process of making the invitation check it out on her blog here.

Courtney killed it with the Pinterest-Approved treats.

Robyn made the beautiful leaf garlands. 

I had trouble choosing my cupcake. I wanted all the bunnies and deer!

Bryanne made beautiful flower arrangements.

 The girls kept me in the dark on most of the shower things. It was so fun to arrive and see everything they had been planning over the last couple of months.  The one thing I did get to help with was the "photo booth" backdrop.  I'm not sure if I have said before but the baby's name is Maybellene and her nickname will be Maybe. I know the Maybe part throws people off if they don't know the whole story.

My mom and sister and I as little critters.

I loved the Fall/Woodland theme.

There was a craft table! Everyone got to make their own party favors.

They also made pendants for a garland for Maybellene's room. Pictures of that soon.

Cutie Critter Friends.

No shower is complete without actual children.

My party "throne" was surrounded in balloons and gifts.

A thoughtful guest collected my ribbons and made me a bonnet. I decided I should wear this to the delivery. ( ;

Some of the beautiful crafting results.

The hostesses.

That was such a beautiful day and having my mom and sister here made it even more special.  I am excited for Maybellene to meet all of these amazing women that are in my life.

Today I'm going to start cleaning, so begins the nesting period.  My biggest challenge is not eating the leftover Halloween candy. Maybe just one piece will be okay.

Thank you for reading. <3 p="">