I keep going through fits of post grad depression and today is one of those fits. I was looking through my bookshelf and realized I still have a copy of Art and Fear and I think it's time I read it again. I haven't read this since I was probably in my third year of undergrad so I'm sure this will mean completely new things for me now.
It's hard hard hard to not be in school and still make art. No, I take that back, making the art isn't hard. It's the feeling alone in it part. I sit alone in my studio and draw and collage and push paint around on paper but my self esteem over what I'm doing gets lower and lower. I can never decide if what I'm making is enough. Is it good enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough? Ugly enough? Where does it fit in? Where do I fit in?
I have definitely gotten better when it comes to these depressing moments. I am being more active about turning that depression into art-making energy. I think reading Art and Fear may just help, too.
Anyone else relate to these feelings? If you're still reading thanks for letting me whine for a bit. Now I'm going to go work in the studio.