Wednesday of last week marked my first day of unemployment as my job for the last six months closed it's doors forever. I've run the whole gamut of emotions with losing the job but in the end I decided to be optimistic and hopeful that this is finally my time to go out and do the things I really want to do. Since graduating I have had plenty of time to figure out what kind of job I want and how I'd like to spend my days. Now is my chance to make that work and I have to admit I'm very terrified. I feel like I have this small window of opportunity to make this work and I fear I'll blow it. I woke up in the middle of the night last night tossing and turning. I spent most of the day sitting on the couch yesterday because I felt stricken with fear. It just feels like if I miss this opportunity then I have to give up and find a 9-5 job and leave my dreams in the past.
I am very lucky to have a lot of supportive people on my side who continue to send me messages of encouragement. I think it's just finding the confidence in myself that's really hard.
This is what I want:
I would like to start my own "Art/Crafts Playdate" business where parents hire me to come over and have art parties. Through my past job I was able to buy a ton of craft supplies pretty cheaply so now more than ever it is my chance to start making this happen.
It feels like something that could really happen.
All of the scary what-ifs keep running through my head, though.
I know I need to get over it and just make it happen and I will. But I will probably still toss and turn at night. At least for a while.
It seems that a lot of the blogs I read are of people whose job is making art. If you are one of those people how do you make things work? How do you pay rent? How often do your parents tell you to get a real job? (sorry, mom, but it's a valid question. ( :)
The picture above is my secretary.
